“She wasn’t my first kiss but she’s the kiss that mattered, the kiss that made me realize I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. So now my lips belong to her. Just look at them… Her name’s written all over them.”
— Oko Ninjah (via okoninjah)
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God I can’t do this, I can’t get married. She’s going to hate me one day and wish she hadn’t married me. We’ll get divorced and every time she sees a wedding she’ll think of how much she hates me.
I feel awful but I’m scared. The closer we get to getting married, the more I start to wonder if she’ll be happy with me. God please let her be happy with me
I’m scared. We’re almost ready for my custody hearing. Aubrey’s moved in, we’ve been together months and the kids love her. I have a nice house, they wanna be with me. Yet I’m still scared. What if nothing changes? And all of this was for nothing. It’s so unfair, I just want to be a family, all of us and Aubrey. I’m trying. At least Aubs is coming and she’ll be there for me if it goes bad
She lied to me about where she went. But she told me the truth, and apologized. She didn’t want me involved in the drugs and everything from her past. Or the kids. And as sad as I was that she kept it from me, I get it.
Things are so good. So so good. I’m waiting for something to happen like it usually does but it hasn’t. I’m actually insanely happy. I’m still working out custody arrangements but Willow said she wants to live with me. So I think we stand a real chance. I want to start a family with Aubrey. The kids love her being moved in with me… and it’s not too far off really to do the marriage and kids thing.
I’m the luckiest man in the world. I asked Aubrey to move in with me and she said yes. It’s been a bumpy road, with my ex wife and the shit she stirred up but things are finally going right. Now I just have to fix my custody situation and I’ll have my family, a real honest to god family that I’ve rebuilt. I’m wondering how soon is too soon to ask Aubrey how she feels about trying for kids, or getting married? It’s a while off, but I’m definitely thinking about babies.
I’m gonna do it. I’m asking her to move in this week. So my stomach won’t always be in knots.
I feel like maybe it’s time to take the steps for marriage and kids but I’m still scared to just ask her to move in. But I know we’re getting ready to be there. She’s so good with the kids. But marriage is scary, and I want to, but what if I fuck up again and she hates me one day? I’m just the shit ex husband and she regrets everything?
Regardless I’m taking this first step, even if I’m scared.
I’ve been thinking about how Aubrey gave me back that key. And it has me wondering if maybe it’s time to give it back, and ask her to move in. I’m ready, the kids are ready. I just want her to be too and feel like a part of our lives and to feel important. I’m just nervous. It feels a bit like a proposal